There’s an Imposter Among Us

And no I’m not talking about the super-fun computer game.

Imposter syndrome, I got it bad.

Just for those that haven’t heard of imposter syndrome it is described as; “believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be” VeryWellMind

To be honest I know a lot of people feel this way, it can also be described as the feeling of constantly “winging it”. We’ve all done it, we’ve all found ourselves in a position where you think to yourself- ‘I’ve no idea how I managed to convince everyone I should be here’. Maybe you’ve felt it when starting a new job or when you find yourself being the one that people look up to for information.

The earliest memory I have of feeling this way was when I was 9 years old and I somehow managed to get a spot in the school choir even though I didn’t (and still don’t) have a musical bone in my body. I remember telling myself ‘keep the head down and nobody will notice that you can’t sing’.

Unfortunately as I’ve grown as a person the feeling of being an imposter has also grown. For Christ’s sake I’m doing a master’s degree when I only got 290 points in my leaving cert! How’d I manage that?

I still don’t really know. I guessed I’ve managed to trick everyone into thinking that I’m capable? WRONG!

Then why do I feel like I don’t deserve to be here with everyone else? Why do like I feel I don’t know half of the things I’m supposed to know?

The answers to these questions I do not yet know but I guess it’s something I’ll have to work on.

All I know is that I have had to work very hard to get to where I am today. I need to stop comparing myself to others. There’s always going to be self-doubt and I’m pretty sure that’s a given in life unless you’re a sociopath or a narcissist. 😂

So what I’m trying to say is; although everyone else seems to know what they’re doing, they might be feeling the same way as I do on the inside. They might think to themselves ‘look at Shauna, she’s doing a master’s she must really know exactly what she’s doing- I should be the same’.

No pet, you are exactly where you are supposed to be right now.

Love Shauna xoxo

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Published by Shauna Convery

26 year old child and master's student just trying to make sense of it all while sharing my thoughts in the form of blog

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