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Duck Theory

If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.

It wasn’t long when I started writing this blog post until I realized there a lot of duck-based analogies/metaphors, like a LOT.

I live above a pond/canal so I like to watch the ducks a lot and I’ve formulated a theory; my duck theory is that we as people are all walking around cool calm and collected during our daily lives but under the surface were paddling like crazy just trying to get along kind of like a duck.

I think people today and especially people my age have become experts in making it look like we know what were doing but really deep down were a fiery ball of chaos. I’m sure it’s a mix of influence from our parents who have always seemed to have their ducks in a row and a mix of pressure to be successful in todays world. But hey, I’m not the psychologist in the family šŸ˜‰

I’m sure a lot of people would agree me. Everyone and I mean everyone has their own shit going on down below the surface and yes, some of us hide it much better than others. It’s only since I’ve started to be open and honest about my mental health with others that I’ve seen that I am most definitely not alone in my struggles. Were all in the same boat.

Baby ducks are known for following mommy around for safety, never breaking away from the group. People are like this too, following someone who seems to have their life together and to throw another few animals into the mix, I think it’s very easy to become a sheep. It’s so easy to just follow everyone else, so easy to do what everyone else is doing, too easy to compare your journey with that of others and very easy to go on a path someone else has gone just because you thinks that what you SHOULD be doing and to that I say, BULL.

I didn’t end up on mainland Europe at 26 years old by chance. No, I took a leap, I made a decision that I never thought I’d make. I always thought to myself; ‘my friends and family are working in their careers and becoming successful young adults, I have to be the same’. NOPE, that’s not true. I took the leap to continue my education in my mid 20’s, I chose to take out a loan and to invest in myself (and I wholeheartedly believe that I will be a millionaire by the 35 because of this), I chose to improve myself as a person and as a professional and BEJAYSUS I think it’s working out quite well if I do say so myself.

So what I’m trying to say is, even though people in your life may look like they’ve got their shit together on the outside, most likely under the surface they are paddling like nuts just to stay afloat.

Stop comparing yourself to others, live your own journey and when someone tells you otherwise just let it roll off like water off a ducks back.

Love Shauna xoxo

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Questions I Ask Myself Daily

Here I am, over half way done with my masters.

Has it been fun? YES!

Has it been hard? HELL YEAH! (emphasis on hell)

Have I had fun? Most definitely!

And for the golden question, has it been worth it? Every damn second!

The masters I’m doing is a 1 year course which means I will be working on college right up until September. Right now I ‘m currently working on my thesis. (I can’t tell you what it’s about because its TOP SECRET stuff that will change the dairy industry forever… hopefully).

I am aware that I may be overselling the research I’m doing but a girl can dream right?

But in all seriousness, I really hope research that I will be doing will make a difference somewhere, my thesis is based on the dairy industry in Ireland, and helping Irish farmers. I need to believe that my work will help someone because the past few months have been super stressful and hard, I need to all the effort to mean something.

I’m sure it will, hence why I’m putting myself through all this. I am working with some pretty amazing people both from school and back home so that really helps with my motivation.

I’m gunna be using this blog as a kind of diary about the next four months of my life. (I reckon these blog entries will be used in the documentary made about me in like 30 years) Think of it as a diary of a madwoman on her way to the top.

Although I have a healthy amount of unearned confidence in myself I like to look it not as arrogance but as faith. I have faith in myself that I will do great things in the future. I like to think it of it as having goals, you can’t ever achieve you goals if you don’t have them, yano?

So yeah, tag along for the adventure!

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Homesick?

Am I homesick or am I just missing my dogs?

My new Dutch friend asked me recently “Do you like it here?” It took me a minute to garner a response.

I do like it here, actually I love it here! “But why?” says she.

“I dunno” says me

I like it here in the Netherlands because well “its the same, but different”

I have noticed most Dutch people, well they don’t the any shit, but they also don’t give any shit which I find delightfully familiar!

I find Dutch people and Irish people to be quite similar, a good sense of humour, humility and they know how to have the Craic (although not many of them actually know what the word Craic means)

The only difference is their openess, they’re about 110% less judgy than the Irish.

The only homesickness I’m experiencing is the want to cuddle my fat baby dogs and a good auld cut a tae whilst watching the angelus and the six one. And the hills, Lord jesus I never though I’d say this but I miss hills!

And my friends and family (I’d be bate round the place if I didn’t say this)

So yeah, I’m homesick but I’m enjoying my new life in flatland.

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Friends

Truer words have never been spoken!

“A friend is like a fart, They smell but it’s OK because they are funny”- Shauna Convery; Lanesboro 2020

I know everyone says this but I 110% for definite have the best friends in the world.

As you all know I have made the huge leap of moving to the Netherlands on my own! Am I crazy? Probably. But sure look it’s too late, I’m here now!

The past few weeks the eventuality that i would be leaving was looming over my head, something I did not realize that my leaving would also be looming over other peoples heads!

I did not expect this and I was pleasantly suprised if not moved by the fact that people did not want me to go as much as they did want to see me go and to embark on a new adventure.

I’m 25, I get it friends come and go, But the friends I have right now are all I’ll ever need and more. Don’t get me wrong i’m always open to making new friends but I know now that they are all behind me cheering me on!

The people who are my friends already know who they are, they need no mention.

Last weekend I decided to have a BBQ as my leaving party. It was overly planned and I kind of just decided it a few weeks before. I invited as little people as I could without leaving anyone too important out because of COVID and all that jazz. . but to my absolute shock and delight a lot more people than I ever expected turned up. They came with cards presents, money and nothing but kind words of encouragement and inspiration.

People I hadn’t seen in months, people I didn’t even think liked me that much and total strangers have been messaging me, texting me and ringing me to say best of luck and that they hope I have an amazing time.

It truly is appreciated and I know I will do you all proud!

Here’s to new adventure, to old friends and new. Thank You!

Love Shauna xoxo

I took all of my cards with me so iIknow I’m never alone!

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Moving To The Netherlands

I’m a Dutch Bitch

Holy Jaysus Christ! What am I at?

Ok so yeah, I’m moving to The Netherlands next month for college. I will be going to Leeuwarden which is the capital city of the Friesland province in the north of Holland. I have been accepted in to a masters in Innovation in Dairy Chain Management in Van Hall Larenstein Unversity.

Now I’ve got all the nitty gritty deets out of the way I can tell you how I really feel. I AM SHITTING MY PANTS to be quite honest. I started working straight out of college 5 years ago I never got to take the rite of passage for most Irish people in their early 20’s that is to “go away” for a year abroad. I will be going over there totally alone. Living on my own in a studio apartment. Am I wise at all?

It’s not even the moving to another country alone part that is freaking me out, it’s the whole having to travel on your own. Yes, I a 25 year old child have never travelled in an airport on my own! Airports scare the living bejesus out of me. Anyone who has ever travelled with me will tell you that I’m a 6ft 3″blundering eejit when it comes to navigating through security and boarding gates. I know ill be fine but that still isn’t helping the utter anxiety over it all.

So, Yeah, I’m outta here for at least 12 months any way. Very excited, I’ve only ever heard good things from people who have moved to and studied in Holland so I’m holding on to that for dear life.

Some of you may have noticed that I’ve been using my Instagram stories a lot lately, I’m really enjoying it and all the feedback I’m getting! I plan on logging my entire experience via Instagram, Snapchat, This blog and maybe if I’m arsed I’ll make a lock of YouTube videos too!

So stay tuned to keep up to date with all my adventures! I am a busy woman and I haven’t time!!

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What is the secret to Keto?

Ok, this is going to be a long one!

This was from January til July

I lost 8 stone last year. That’s 112 lb and 50kg. I had a lot of weight to lose so its not that magnificent. I also have more weight to lose so that is why i’m continuing the keto diet this year!

*Disclaimer* I ain’t no scientist or nutrition expert obviously, i’m just relaying what worked for me when doing the keto diet. Not all people are the same and what works for me may not work for someone else. That being said I also incorporated exercise into my lifestyle too. so everything I say in this blog post is just my understanding of Keto!

So, January 12th 2019 is the day I threw out every single thing in my house that had sugar or carbs in it. The only way i knew how to succeed was to begin from the start, the one thing i’ve always said is you will not be able to lose weight if you’re not 100% committed. It simply will not work pal. Get it into your head that nice things are bad for you so they no longer exist, forget about them!

So Keto is short for ketogenic diet. Being on a ketogenic diet means you’re trying to get your body into a state of ketosis, and to me this just means you’re trying to get your body to burn fat instead of energy. Your body will run on your fat reserves instead of just energy.. does that make sense?

So skip ahead a load of science and stuff, a Keto diet is basically just a Low Carb, Sugar, Gluten free as well as high fat and protein diet. 25g of Carbs per day is the usual, then you can use online calculators that take a few factors into consideration like your age, BMI, weight, height and activity level to find out what your macros are. So for example my macros are 131g of Protein, 105g of Fat. These macros are calculated using your own measurements so when I started my macros were far higher than they are now. From my understanding the bigger you are the more you have to consume to get your body into ketosis (burning fat)

(the website i used is https://calculo.io/keto-calculator) There are so many website and pages about keto and if they are looking for money close that shit down! you can get all the same info and recipes for free with just a little bit of research!)

Ok now all that sciencey stuff is out of the way I can tell you without any shadow of a doubt that you will be like a DEMON BITCH FROM HELL for the first week or two, this kind of depends on how much sugar is in your current diet. When i started i had to physically fire a mars bar into the garden beside my house because if i didnt i was going to eat it. I was jonesing for a tiny little morsel of chocolate or sugar.

Once you get over that something incredible happens! You’re appetite goes bye bye and your energy levels go through the roof, you better hope you have a gym membership to burn off some of that extra energy or you can say good luck to sleep. There was one night last year about 3 weeks into the diet i did a 12 hour day at work and went to the gym and swam for a full hour and i was still walking the hall buzzing off my nut with all this energy and not a cup of coffee or tea did i have that day! C’mere to me now pals I know im fond of a little exaggerating but this part i’m not. I literally had to force feed myself because I wasn’t hungry and I Had waaay too much energy!

I was eating twice a day and using Intermittent Fasting as well but that’s another blog post altogether. I was eating things like Tuna salads, Chicken and ham salad and fry ups with eggs and bacon! The main things you can’t eat are root vegetables (Potatoes, Carrots, Parsnips etc.) or and fruit is a no no! Gluten is out, sauces with sugar or artificial sweeteners are gonzo. Bread no longer exists. If you like meat, eggs, dairy and leafy greens then you are elected. I have so many recipes with exact measurements that i can share, just tell me what you do and don’t like and ill do up a meal plan for you!

The general idea is to have half your plate with protein and leafy greens and then 40% of the plate is fat and then remaining 10% should be left for the naturally occurring carbs in the foods you’re eating. My best advice is when having a meal include a good bit of Irish meat, whether that be beef, chicken pork or fish have a big portion of it. that counts for a big chunk of your protein and fat, then load up on your leafy greens for example with a salad, go mad with the lettuce and spinach. When you have this your protein is basically covered, its the healthy fats you need to worry about. Cheese, Milk, Mayonnaise, Olive oil, avocado’s etc. Then Boom, you are ketoing. This is just a basic example of what your meal should include, there are so many more recipes that include way more types of food! A simple tappity tap into google and you’ll have a list of recipes as long as your arm.

Salt! It’s very important. You’re eating a lot of natural whole foods on this diet that simply don’t have enough salt, not having enough salt in your diet can cause problems like joint pain. Your best bet is to get a grinder of pink himalayan salt and just add a wee sprinkle to one of your meals per day! (Plus it adds a bit of extra flavour to some of the blander meals)

My secret is that after the first 2 months on keto i was well in the swing of things but i was starting to get bored of eating all the same things week in week out, so i allowed myself a treat every weekend, whether that was a portion of pancakes in honey bees or a bowl of popcorn while watching a movie. I Found that when I treated myself i worked harder during the week because i knew i had a treat the weekend before and if i wasn’t good during the week i wouldn’t be able to have a treat the following weekend. It’s really just that simple.

Berries and fizzy water are your bff! Berries like blackberries, blueberries, raspberries and strawberries are the only “fruit” you can have. My way of measuring is that take a very small palmful not handful of each, chop them up, add them to a bowl with cream and keto granola and it’s tastier than any dessert under a bajillion calories! Fizzy water saved my god dang life! I know most people hate it and think it tastes horrible but if you can add a little bit of barley and fruit cordial to a pint of fizzy water then it tastes far better and fills you up so much when you’re feeling the hunger pains!

I could go on all day about keto with little tips and tricks but these are the basics of starting and staying on the keto! But one more thing i will say is that Dr. Berg on YouTube is fantastic for explaining keto in simple terms! go check him out!

If i can do it then you can most definitely do it too! I believe in you and you should believe in yourself too it’s the only thing that will stand to you!

I’ll be doing an insta story soon detailing more of the diet so follow me there to see that!

Shauna xoxo

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It’s A New Year

I’ve never been much into keeping new year’s resolution or i’ve never been big into the whole New Year, New Me thing. But this year is different.

Safe to say that 2019 was categorically the worst year of my life, for example, I made absolute shite out of my leg, still not fit to go back to the job I love, having no money, depression/ PTSD and a few other shitty things sprinkled in just for good measure.

Noice.

The back end of 2019 really tested me, I don’t know why exactly, if someone was to ask me why are you sad or why are you depressed? My answer would have been “Haven’t a notion” Now i’m not sure if that’s the god’s honest truth or if I was just too scared/lazy to dive into my problems to figure out what they were but here we are.

2020, A new decade, Holy Crap!

I’ve made a list of goals, written them all down and listed what steps i need to take to be able to achieve them. I’m going by that good old saying “Fail to plan, Plan to fail” I don’t want to fail. Im dedicated to making my life better. I want to start off this decade with style.

My goals? well, they’re nothing special.

Number 1: Get to the 10 stone weight loss mark. Keep doing the Keto diet, it works well for me.Number 2: Just exercise! I know I can’t afford a gym membership right now but I can walk the roads and do yoga until my back gives out! Number 3: Have better mental health. I’m the only person who can make myself better! I just need to make a plan to get better, for example I need to start back with a counsellor, meditate and practise the shit out of mindfulness.

So here we go, this blog will by my personal outlet and log of everything i’m doing to become a better Shauna. Follow along or don’t, it won’t stop me either way!

You got this! Make 2020 the year of Shauna Convery!!

Ok, Thanks Bye

Shauna xoxo

Uncertainty

“The only things in life that are certain are death and taxes”- Benjamin Franklin

Not being sure of what will happen in the future is a fate we will all suffer in our lives from time to time, it’s just a fact of life unfortunately. It’s not something we ourselves can control so we shouldn’t let it control us.

As the finish line for my master’s is coming in to view, naturally enough I find myself looking to the future and all I can see is a big ‘ol cloud of uncertainty and scariness and that in itself is daunting. I feel like a kid all over again, worrying about what I want to be when I grow up.

Now don’t get me wrong, I do have goals and ambitions for my career/life and believe me, I will do everything in my power to make that happen but knowing how I’m going to get there isn’t just as easy to envision. I keep worrying that things won’t pan out like I hoped. But then I realised, that’s all I’m doing is worrying myself over something that I cannot control right now. Sure, I can try to make decisions now that will help me reach where I’d like to be in the future but in the grand scheme of things what will be will be.

So what I’m trying to say is that no matter how much I worry about the future and how the rest of my life will turn out, there’s still nothing I can do to control what happens. I repeat my mantra every time I find my mind wandering and worrying and that mantra is- “If it’s meant for you it won’t pass you by”.

Love Shauna xoxo

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There’s an Imposter Among Us

And no I’m not talking about the super-fun computer game.

Imposter syndrome, I got it bad.

Just for those that haven’t heard of imposter syndrome it is described as; “believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be” VeryWellMind

To be honest I know a lot of people feel this way, it can also be described as the feeling of constantly “winging it”. We’ve all done it, we’ve all found ourselves in a position where you think to yourself- ‘I’ve no idea how I managed to convince everyone I should be here’. Maybe you’ve felt it when starting a new job or when you find yourself being the one that people look up to for information.

The earliest memory I have of feeling this way was when I was 9 years old and I somehow managed to get a spot in the school choir even though I didn’t (and still don’t) have a musical bone in my body. I remember telling myself ‘keep the head down and nobody will notice that you can’t sing’.

Unfortunately as I’ve grown as a person the feeling of being an imposter has also grown. For Christ’s sake I’m doing a master’s degree when I only got 290 points in my leaving cert! How’d I manage that?

I still don’t really know. I guessed I’ve managed to trick everyone into thinking that I’m capable? WRONG!

Then why do I feel like I don’t deserve to be here with everyone else? Why do like I feel I don’t know half of the things I’m supposed to know?

The answers to these questions I do not yet know but I guess it’s something I’ll have to work on.

All I know is that I have had to work very hard to get to where I am today. I need to stop comparing myself to others. There’s always going to be self-doubt and I’m pretty sure that’s a given in life unless you’re a sociopath or a narcissist. šŸ˜‚

So what I’m trying to say is; although everyone else seems to know what they’re doing, they might be feeling the same way as I do on the inside. They might think to themselves ‘look at Shauna, she’s doing a master’s she must really know exactly what she’s doing- I should be the same’.

No pet, you are exactly where you are supposed to be right now.

Love Shauna xoxo

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Chain Reaction

“You may not be able to change your circumstance but you can change how you react to it”- Beautifully Insane Diaries

This is one of the best lessons I have learned. There are so many things in life that you have absolutely no control over, so why worry yourself about things you can’t control?

Doing a master’s and living in a different country is so much fun but there are times more often than not that it can be very tough. As I’ve said before if you have passion for something it can really help to keep you on track and motivated although passion doesn’t get you all the way, you need to push through all the challenges you face and come out the other side all the better for your struggles.

These struggles that we all face are unfortunately part of life, everyone has struggles of their own and you never know what someone is going through just by looking at them. Getting yourself bogged down by looking at others and comparing yourself to them is never helpful and it creates a viscous cycle.

Life has its ups and down’s. When you’re in bad place or having trouble just keeping your head above water the smallest of inconveniences can send you in to a spiral or negative thinking. This is where being aware of the way you react is very important.

For a real life example: today I checked my survey for farmers in Ireland that I will be using for my thesis, and to my surprise, only two people have filled it out. Now anyone who has done a thesis knows that it can consume you and become the most important thing in your life, so when I seen that one of the things I need for my thesis not going to plan there was a split second where I thought to myself “f*ck this, f*ck that and f*ck my life”. Thankfully those thoughts were short-lived because I have taught myself to stop and think about how I react to problems. Instead of going into meltdown mode, I stopped and thought to myself “Ok, what do I need to do now in order to fix this problem?” I reacted to the situation ina different way.

When you google the word ‘reaction’ the results are: something done, felt, or thought in response to a situation or event’.

My response to a setbacks in my life were initially negative, they were negative automatic thought’s or NAT’s for short. My mind automatically went to the negative as does many people’s, I like to call this a chain reaction. One negative thought will always lead to another and another… Being able to recognize these NAT’s is a lot easier than done but if you become aware of it, it becomes a lot easier to do.

So what I’m trying to say is that you don’t have to be a Positive Patricia all the time because that most definitely would be utterly unbearable for others around you. You just have to be able to recognize when you are being a Negative Nelly, stop for a moment and think to yourself “how can I fix this problem?”. Trust me it works.

Love Shauna xoxo

P.S. I didn’t learn these skills overnight it took me a long time to train myself to react differently to problems in my life. I had some help and guidance. For more inspirational quotes and genuine advice I highly recommend that you go follow Beautifully Insane Diaries on Instagram! Click the icon below to visit their page!

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Doing a Master’s With Depression (part 1)

It’s a tough spot I’ve found myself in.

Those of you who know me know that I have had my struggles with anxiety and depression for a number of years. It’s no secret, I like to be very open about my journey. You may also know that I am doing a master’s degree.

I’m pretty sure everyone will agree with me when I say having depression is not an easy thing to go through and the same applies to doing a master’s degree. Life right now is tough.

So you might think to yourself, “Poor Shauna, she’s having a horrible time”, and to that I say; WRONG! Even though things are hard at the moment I am still enjoying doing my master’s degree, I’m still very passionate about my thesis and I am thoroughly enjoying seeing myself grow not only professionally but also personally, although the same cannot be said for the whole depression thing.

I’m sure when people think of depression they think of anxiety and lack of passion for anything in life except for being sad. And while that’s true to a certain extent, I am still very happy about many things in my life. I still experience joy, I still enjoy my job on the social media team, I still enjoy meeting friends and making new memories and I still enjoy sitting up until stupid o’clock at night wrecking my brain trying to finish my thesis proposal.

Now don’t get me wrong there are times when I’d love to pack it all in and move to a tropical country and live on the beach selling coconuts and mangos, but there is something inside me, a fire inside my belly, something that keeps me going, something that drives me forward. That something is passion, it’s a love of all things dairy, it’s a desire to make a real change. That’s what keeps me going.

So what I’m trying to say is, depression is something many people have had experience with, depression is not an easy thing to go through but that doesn’t mean that you can’t be successful, it doesn’t mean you have to stop your entire life and become devoted to being sad. All you need to do is find something that drives you to continue.

Life isn’t just a straight line, it has it’s ups and downs. you just need to find something that makes it worth continuing, something you’re passionate about.

Keep going, you got this!

Love Shauna xoxo

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Absolute Notions

I have them, you have them, we all have notions.

As I logged on today I saw that today is my 6 year anniversary of being an aspiring blogger. Now don’t get me wrong I have not been writing for all of those 6 years but the notion has been with me for a lot longer than 6 years, the notion to make other people laugh and smile.

The word ‘notion’ is not an exclusively Irish word but I reckon it’s a word that Irish people use more often than others. We all know that the word notion means to have an idea, belief or thought about something. I myself am someone who has many notions about herself and I use to think this was a bad thing, something to be ashamed of, it meant you were full of yourself and people would be talking about you saying; “Jaysus, yer wan Shauna has absolute notions about herself”.

6 years ago I would have died if I thought someone had said this about me. Why you ask, because I cared too much about what people thought of me. I put too much weight on how people perceived me, I used to look at people on the streets and people online and think that they were constantly judging me. I know now my friends, that this is most definitely not the case.

As many wise people have said; “nobody gives a f*ck about you”.

This might seem like a horrible thing to say because it’s nice to be cared about but in the grand scheme of things, people have enough stuff in their own lives to worry about, they don’t care about someone like me, a stranger on the street.

What a breath of fresh air when I realized this was true.

So what I’m trying to say is; stop caring about what other people think of you because in all likelihoods, they don’t. Take the time to learn about yourself and who you are, what you want out of life and then go for it. Don’t put time and effort into worrying about what other people think of you, you’re not a mind reader so stop trying. Be whoever the hell you want to be as long as you’re not hurting anyone else and you’ll be a lot happier. Trust me.

All the hard things you’ve overcome in your life and you’re worried about what other people thing of you? Wise up, be yourself and don’t apologize for it!

Love Shauna xoxo

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When Are Ya Comin’ Home?

The view from my house in Ireland

A question I get asked at least twice a week.

I’ve been living here in the Netherlands for the best part of 9 months now, still loving it albeit a little homesick from time to time.

Aren’t I lucky to live in the age of technology where ringing home can be done while I’m out for a walk in the local park? WhatsApp really is a technological marvel. I talk to my mother at least once a day sometimes even twice a day so when people ask me; Are you homesick? My reply is usually; “Nope, sure I talk to Evey more now than when I lived in the same house as her, only thing I miss is the dogs!”

I also talk to friends and family quite often which is amazing, I think the fact that this is possible has really helped with adjusting to life over here on my own but nearly every time I ring home I get the famous question; “When are ya comin’ home?”.

Now it’s nice to know you’re wanted back home but it’s always hard to know. Covid has put the kibosh on my hopes of getting home during the home for a quick visit, although I do still live in hope. Along with this is the fact that I love living in this country and I really like Dutch people too, so why would I want to leave? In my opinion Ireland will always still be there when I do want to come home so why would I leave the Netherlands when I have a chance to stay?

So to answer the question, not yet. Now I’m not saying I won’t ever repatriate myself, I’m just saying if the right job comes along after I’m finished in college then the world is my oyster right?

Keep an open mind, the sky really is the limit.

Love Shauna xoxo

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I am Not a Nice Person

It’s true, I’m a big meanie.

Now, most of the people who read my blog posts are close friends and family because, you know.. support? I can imagine some of you may be thinking that mean is not a word you’d use to describe me as a person and to that I say; Thanks babe.

Very recently I received a very nice kick up the arse from a family member. See, I had written out a list of all the things wrong with me, things I thought I needed to change about myself. Now when I say a kick up the arse I mean I was told to rip the list up into smithereens and never do such a silly thing again. It wasn’t until I was told that writing a literal list of all my flaws was completely pointless and quite frankly mean.

Why did I feel the need to do that to myself? How on earth did I think this was a good idea?

Even writing this now I’m laughing at how needless it all was. I was putting so much pressure on myself to be perfect, and for what? I was in a spiral of negative automatic thoughts and didn’t even realize it, I was having some trouble believing in myself and automatically my mind went straight to the negative (a lot easier than you’d think).

I can most definitely say that you can always count on family to tell it to you straight, especially when you’re being a shithead and for that I am very grateful.

So what I’m trying to say is: Yes it’s easy to go straight to the negative but if you take a step back, you can see that always going to the negative is not being a nice person to yourself. Now don’t get me wrong if you were an eternally positive Polly I’m sure it’d be quite insufferable for most people, just try to be as nice to yourself as you are to others. Stop being so hard on yourself and make sure to take some time to learn how to be good to yourself. Keep an eye out on you instead of always looking after other people first, if you get the hang of that, trust me it’ll make life 10 times more enjoyable.

Love Shauna xoxo

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Your person

I’m nearly sure the reason i’m writing this is because i’ve watched waay too much Grey’s anatomy.

You’re your own person. I’m not talking about boyfriends and girlfriends when i say this but everyone just needs a person. A person they think of straight away when you see an obscure meme or a tik tok that nobody else would find funny, The only person who understands why you’re pissed off at something stupid. The person who makes you laugh until tea comes out your nose. This person is your person.

I am one of the lucky ones. I have a lot of persons, I have my people.

Your people are like your family (and in my case yes, they are family too.) The ones you want to tell about the shitty day you’ve had or the funny joke you just thought of. Or the ones you get great satisfaction out of annoying. Yes your people.

I’m super lucky right now because I have people in two different countries. How class is that? Irish and Dutch!

If you don’t have a person, find a person, it’s fun I swear. I was afraid I wouldn’t find a person over here in Cheeseland. I did. I have many Cheesepeople but I have a cheese person and she’s my person! I know she will be my person for a long time and I know she will become My Irish peoples person. Does that make sense? (probably only my people will understand this)

Just remember you’re someone’s person. Somebody’s somebody.

Appreciate your people. They are the ones who make you who you are, The way you’re truly are.

Whoaa dude

Shauna xoxo

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